Are you stuck?

Counselling and psychotherapy can offer more than just helping those suffering from loss, anxiety, distress or depression. It can also help those who feel stuck - who have a dissatisfaction with their life, little or no sense of direction or purpose. Whilst therapists do not seek to provide a list of 'why don't you' options or even instructions on how to change your life, we can help you discover and put into words answers that are already within you.

Ultimately, you are the best expert on yourself. Others are often frequently more than willing to give plentiful advice on how to live your life but these will be based on their life, their experiences and personality type, on their goals and targets. Your ideal path is quite likely to be different to theirs, drawing on different skills and abilities.

We may be too close to a challenge and 'unable to see the wood for the trees.' A suitably trained and experienced therapist can help by noticing and reflecting issues that may be out of the conscious awareness of a client. 

'You don't have to be ill to get better.'
Eric Berne 

The psychologist Erik Erikson suggested that we go through eight stages in our lives - here are the three.

19 to 40: Young Adulthood
Following the turbulence of adolescence, now is the time when it is important to form loving, intimate relationships with others - be they friends, family, children and partners or social/work groups. Failing to do this can lead to loneliness and isolation. 

40 to 65: Adulthood
A time when there is a need to establish a legacy, to create or nurture whatever will come after us ('generativity.) There is a focus on parenthood and work, and a drive to feel useful and accomplished in order to maintain a feeling of being involved in the world - avoiding stagnation.

65 to death: Maturity
Winding down a bit - reflection and the achievement of a sense of fulfillment. Gaining this can lead to a perception of wisdom, whilst a failure to do so can prompt feelings of regret, bitterness and despair.

Various writers have suggested a continuing drive throughout life to move towards a sense of fulfilment and enlightenment - rejecting the influence of others and acting authentically.

Whether we are seeking self-actualisation (Rogers and Maslow), autonomy (Berne) or enlightenment, or just stuck with a changing stage in our life, there may be times when we need a bit of help to overcome the odd hiccup in the journey.